Yesterday I posted a series of tweets about some of the worst audience members I have seen or heard directly about from years of working at multiple theatres. I probably should have made it a hashtag, because there were a lot of responses from others with their own patron horror stories.
These are not the general “problem” audience members we all end up dealing with. These aren’t the ones that play on their phones the whole show, or cough so much you would be excused for thinking they have the plague, or snore through Act 2. These are the ones that you remember years later: the ones who result in new front-of-house procedures.
First: my Tweets:
Worst audience members: #1 The one who wandered into the wing (in the round), vomited on the floor (trash can 3’ away) & just left.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #2 The one who put their feet on the stage next to to the bed, & kept them there all through the incest-rape scene. — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #3 The ones who walk across the stage (in the round/runway) to get to the other side of the house: & then cross back — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #4 The ones who went up on stage post show to look at the set & props. — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #5 The one who went up onstage postshow to look at the set & props, and tried to take most important prop home. — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #6 The one who used the prop trash can (in the round) as a real trash can: for their food.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #7 The one who vomited all over the family of 4 in from of him/her.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #8 The one who climbed up onstage during intermission, trying to get backstage: to complain about house temperature — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #9 The one from an awards group who showed up at the last minute & demanded to sit in the closed balcony. — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #10 The one who moved a monitor speaker on the edge of the stage: so they could set their purse & drinks there.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #11 The school group that showed up 15 minutes late, holding the house: and left 10 minutes before the end of show.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #12 The one who climbed over a barricade to get to the catwalks, & then tried to get out of trouble by flirting. — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members:#13 The one who climbed on stage during a speech (only to be literally thrown off the stage by Secret Service agent). — OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #14 The one in the front row who brought a large doll, & put it on the stage to “dance” during musical numbers.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
Worst audience members: #15 The absolute worst: The male who punched the female House Manager.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
But wait, there’s more!
@OffStageJobs #6, audience member who walks on stage, inspects the construction and almost destroys it. Or at least knocks lites off marks
— Jordan H (@jsh_1) June 14, 2015
@OffStageJobs #7, who goes on stage and WONT LET THE BAND MEMBER LEAVE.
— Jordan H (@jsh_1) June 14, 2015
It’s included in the price of the ticket, right?
@OffStageJobs #8, the audience member who demands a tour of the catwalk after the show
— Jordan H (@jsh_1) June 14, 2015
Here, let me do the same to you as you head down those stairs…
@OffStageJobs Flash photo of dancer right before a blind leap/catch. #worstAudienceMembers
— Lucas Krech (@lucaskrech) June 14, 2015
@OffStageJobs can I add the teacher who took her class on stage during intermission to take pictures on the set? You bet I was rude.
— sylliebee (@sylliebee) June 14, 2015
At least have it be period…
@OffStageJobs At The King & I a cell phone rings. Ringtone is 20th C. Bell style. Collective audience pause reconciling era discrepancy.
— Lucas Krech (@lucaskrech) June 14, 2015
We provide the smoke, sir!
@OffStageJobs all of these and more. I had a smoker in my audience last night. Smoked through the entirety of act 1 until I could scold him
— Shelby Lynn (@shelbylynnmarie) June 14, 2015
Oh yeah, baby. Talking about suffering from PTSD gets me so hot…
Dishonorable mention: the couple who made-out nearly the entire duration of a perf, which content-wise would be like making-out to Platoon.
— OffStageJobs.com (@OffStageJobs) June 14, 2015
A two-parter:
@OffStageJobs I had one drunk man wander backstage during intermission, thinking it was the way to the bathrooms??? then came back during[1] — morgan l. (@mindelannn) June 14, 2015
@OffStageJobs act 2 with their child to use the backstage bathroom. once their kid was done, you bet they were asked to leave [2] — morgan l. (@mindelannn) June 14, 2015
Dance like everyone is watching…
@OffStageJobs the drunk woman who wandered onto the floor-level deck to dance through the act 2 opener. #worstAudienceMembers — Joelle Simone (@joelle_simone) June 14, 2015
Because that would make it better…
@OffStageJobs patron jumped on a cartoon character / 4’10” dancer. He claimed “I didn’t know someone was in there” #WorstAudienceMembers — Corinne (@RinWanders) June 14, 2015
If it is the same guy I dealt with, he has some serious issues…
@OffStageJobs An audience member hopped onto the stage and asked an actor to turn up the air conditioning — K (@NYCsubbie) June 14, 2015
It’s like they think those are decorative…
@OffStageJobs We once had an audience member in the front row who put both centre wedges on the floor because they “blocked his view.” — Charles R. Kaiser (@ckaiserca) June 14, 2015
Look buddy, if you want to mark your territory, sponsor a seat…
@OffStageJobs the drunk audience member who exited the theatre mid-show and peed at the bottom of the stairs to the booth. — The Nall (@mrstagemanager) June 14, 2015
So, not effective…?
@OffStageJobs we had one who snatched the radio out of HM’s hand and refused to give it back until he was given a refund. He was arrested. — Charles R. Kaiser (@ckaiserca) June 14, 2015
Classy…
@OffStageJobs the patron who moved the musician’s chair closer to put their program & drink on, complained when it was repeatedly moved back — Keelia (@KeelaLiptak) June 14, 2015
But the lobby is so far away!
@OffStageJobs I had an older audience member drink out of the water cooler (part of the set) …twice — Brook Owen (@BrookOwen) June 14, 2015
The “Major League” defense..
@OffStageJobs audience member had audio of world series playing on his phone all of act one “he couldn’t figure out how to turn it off” — David Gotlieb (@DavidGotlieb) June 14, 2015
Sometimes it works out better than expected…
@OffStageJobs drunk guy came in booth looking for an exit but then gave us $50 for “working so hard” #WorstAudienceMembersturnedawesome — Jessica Neill (@congoblue) June 14, 2015
You can’t see me! You can’t see me!
@OffStageJobs late patron walked upstage of actors along the set to get to their seat holding program in front of face to be “stealthy” — David Gotlieb (@DavidGotlieb) June 14, 2015
EWWWWWW! Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
@OffStageJobs woman who removed her tampon 2nd row center and left it on the floor for me to unwittingly pick up bare handed. — Jason Epperson (@JEpperson1) June 14, 2015
And finally, a two-parter so odd it is famous (click the dates to see the replies).
@offstagejobs I once had a woman who brought her pet ferret. When asked to leave, she grabbed a prop cane off & threatened the house mgr. — Laurel (@laureleena) June 14, 2015
@offstagejobs They called the cops and she was taken away. That was an awesome performance report to wake up to! — Laurel (@laureleena) June 14, 2015
Thankfully, these are the exceptions. The vast majority of our patrons experience our shows without creating more drama than is on the stage. Now if only we could get them to stop playing with their phones during the show…